Spy and the Three Snipers
by ALPHAMARIOX
Summary: Based off "The Story of the Three Bears" (Goldilocks and the Three Bears, as of 1849), three snipers enjoy a peaceful day, drinking their piss soup and taking a walk with their huntsmen. The spy breaks into the van for whatever reason and ruins the snipers' homes as they know it. This story should not be read to children due to piss soup in the content. I hope you enjoy this.


**Spy and the Three Snipers**

Once upon a time, there lived three snipers who lived in a white camper van. One was a miniature sized sniper, one was medium sized and the other was really tall. They decided to drink piss soup from their jars that day because there had been nothing to do all day and nobody, it seemed, would disturb them from their activities. The jars came in the respective sizes of the three snipers and they prepared to eat their soup.

The tallest sniper drank his first.

"My piss soup is too hot." said the sniper after taking a small sip.

The medium sniper then drank his soup.

"My piss soup is too cold." He said.

And finally, the tiny sniper drank his soup.

"My piss soup is too bitter." He said.

"Let's walk in the forest for a while for our piss soup to cool down." said the tallest sniper.

"Yeah!" said the other snipers.

The three snipers got up from their seats and walked out of the van. The tallest one locked it, just in case anyone would try to break in and steal it. Our trio then frolicked into the woods with their Huntsmen bows.

Meanwhile near the van, the spy found a spare key that one of the snipers must have dropped during their frolic. Spy let out a small chortle as he unlocked the van. As spy walked into the van, he discovered three jars, which seemed to hold some sort of liquid. Spy did not think that it is piss soup and believed that it is apple juice. Spy took a swig of the largest jar, suddenly feeling disgusted from the soup. He spat out the soup in anguish.

"What the hell did I just drink?" said the spy.

Spy then grabbed the medium sized jar and took a small sip, investigating what the horrible liquid was.

"Eeeeeeeeewgh!" Spy spouted as he spat out the liquid.

Spy then picked up the smallest jar, looking at it disdainfully.

"Oh please." Spy said as he threw the jar out of the window, breaking the jar. "Well, I am exhausted! I wonder if they have anything to sleep on this in dump."

Spy spotted three backpacks with a multitude of hats next to them. The hats and backpacks were in three various sizes. Spy tried to lay on all three backpacks, but they did not provide him with the comfort of lying on a bed. He threw the backpacks out the window, which happened to be near the smallest sniper's jar of piss soup.

"Hahaha, fantastic." said the spy as he laid his head to rest.

Back in the woods, the smallest sniper noticed that he is missing something. He frantically searched himself for his keys.

"Ah piss!" said the tiny sniper. "I dropped my keys near the van."

"Ah I'm sorry, mate." said the medium sniper. Let's head back to the van and hope that no wankers took the van."

When they arrived at their van, they noticed their backpacks and the small sniper's piss soup on the ground.

"Someone threw my piss soup and backpack out the window." said the miniature sniper.

"Someone threw my backpack out of the window." said the medium sniper.

"Someone threw my backpack out of the window." said the tall sniper.

The three snipers enter their van, not knowing who awaits their arrival.

"Someone drank my piss soup." said the medium sniper.

"Someone drank my piss soup." said the tall sniper.

After noticing the soup, they spotted someone on their upholstery. They all pointed their fingers at him and aim their huntsmen.

"Spy!" All three of them shouted as they aimed at the hooded mercenary.

Spy suddenly wakes up from the shouting, seeing that he can't do anything in this situation.

"Oh no!" Spy muttered as he was certain of what his fate was.

The three snipers took aim at him and all targeted his head. Spy suddenly died and the three snipers decided to take his belongings. It was not long that they decided to have spy soup, using the spy in their van as an ingredient. All three snipers ate and slept well that night and they lived happily ever after.

The End

A/N: This is my first fan fiction so far. The cannibalistic ending was a weird way to end a story. I really hope that it doesn't ruin the experience for you readers or critics. Next time, I will try to do some more crossovers and such. I consider this to be a spoof fan fiction for now. Until then, I'll see you next time.


End file.
